Monthly Archives: May 2013

Married? How long has it been?

A few days back there was a piece of news in theΒ  ‘Hitavada’Β  with a cute photograph of an old couple exchanging garlands on the occasion of their 80th wedding anniversary!!!News

Even for us Indians who believe immensely in the institution of marriage and in being with each other through all the ups and downs of life, 80 years of married life seems like quite a long time. In most cases even if the marriage is going good, one of the partners may pass away untimely. So just reading about such lucky couples gives a lot of happiness and also, it sets one thinking about this age old institution of marriage. Not that I never thought of it before. I’ve, many times and today once again.

In our country, once you are married you are supposed to stick to it. From time immemorial people have believed in keeping their marriages intact, come what may and divorce never seemed to be a solution for marital problems. It was never ‘love at first sight’ but it was always marriage first and love followed naturally. When husband and wife grow older in each others company they realise that old age love is more matured and mesmerizing. The mere presence of a loving companion 24×7 is reason enough to live and love life. Earlier it was the women who strived hard to make their marriages work as the husbands were always treated as semi gods… ‘Pati Parameshwar’. With time the concepts have changed and the husbands have become broad minded and understood the value of having a wife in their lives.

Every relationship comes with its own dos and dont’s. Likewise there are some basic rules of a good married life too – if you want to be loved, you should be loving too, if you want to be heard learn to listen first, if you want to hear good things, be the first to initiate it etc… A marriage is a beautiful bond between two people and if both of them put in their best to make it work, it is bound to work. Marriage is also a compromise between two people, sometimes the wife has to compromise and sometimes, the husband-as long as it is not affecting the sole entity of one’s existence.

When two different personalities have to share the same house and so many other things and live constantly in each other’s company 24×7, differences are bound to surface. As kids when we lived with our parents and siblings it was not any different. We used to have differences and fights with them also – but we loved these people then and continue to do so, even now. A marriage is the responsibility of both the partners. Both of them have to be equally accountable for all that happens in the family. Blame games don’t help at all. It becomes a headache if one person has to do everything but when there’s another person to share the responsibility and care for you, the scenario changes and what earlier felt like headache turns to pleasure now.

Most of all, if a marriage has to survive I think one must not get into arguments. If either of the partners is angry over something and lost his/her cool, it is in the best interest of the family for the other person to keep his/her cool and not answer back or argue. In most of such situations whatever argument takes place is totally unproductive and can only worsen the situation. So if the other partner displays a bit of maturity and keeps his patience and leaves the angry person alone, in no time the situation improves and he/she might even come to you with a Sorry (in most cases). Show me one family where there are no fights- it’s just how you handle them makes all the difference to your marital life.

I think being a little understanding and thinking from the other person’s perspective makes it easy to handle any situation. And it’s a very small price to pay to enjoy the marital bliss and to continue living with the person you love the most.

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This happens only in India….

As I’ve said time and again in my blogs, I’m a kannadiga from Bengaluru. So, the other day I was flipping channels on the TV and on ETV Kannada, reality show Big Boss was going on. I could not recognise most of the people there but for one and when I saw that person I was left with my mouth open. This person in saffron clothes used to be a sermon giver talking about big things like how should one behave, what’s good or bad for the people and also used to predict the happenings for the day/week for particular zodiac signs on a programme called ‘Bramhanda’. People used to sit in front of the TV with rapt attention, early morning 8 or 9, I’m not very sure about the timings, and listen to his blabberings. Now this Bramhanda Swamy on the reality show was something else, his behaviour totally contradictory to what he used to preach on the other programme. The other inmates of the Big Boss house, it was very evident, were not liking his double standard behaviour.

But then, what’s the big deal? In our country this is nothing new. Haven’t we seen so many of them before, whose behaviour, apart from being unimaginable, was also unpardonable. Remember Kanchi seer Jayendra Saraswati? Kanchi mutt is one of the oldest in our country and the previous seers of this mutt commanded a lot of respect from people. This particular seer Jayendra Saraswati, along with his junior Vijayendra made news for murdering Shankararaman, the manager at the temple office because Shankararaman was in know of some of the illeagal activities of these people..He was also in news when an actress by the name Ranjitha filed a complaint against him for his alleged defamatory remarks about her. He was arrested after the murder and went to jail and is out now on bail. The trial of his case is still going on. From a Godman to a prisoner-what a transition and a regressive one at that.

And then, there is our own Karnataka God man, Nityananda Swamy. A very young man in saffron clothes with a broad smile pasted on his face all the time. In fact in Kannada there’s a saying– ‘Nago gandasanna namba beda’ meaning never trust a man who smiles too much. πŸ™‚ What experience made our ancestors coin it I have no idea. But when I see people like this I can’t help thinking of this saying. So this Nityananda had a huge following including foreigners and our politicians and movie stars and also a huge ashram at Bidadi in Bengaluru. One fine day Sun TV news channel showed a video in which he was hugging and kissing an actress. The Nityananda Dhyanapeetha website called it a conspiracy against him. But later on, probably owing to public pressure, Nityananda, who was absconding by then, was arrested in a town in Himachal Pradesh.In a very obvious move he was granted bail after 50 odd days of custody. Then again in june 2012 an American woman accused Nityananda of sexual harassment. His ashram was attacked by local people and later the ashram was sealed. Nityananda, to save himself from the wrath of public, surrendered before a court in Ramanagara (the place famous for the shooting of Ramesh Sippy’s Sholay). He was released the next day on bail and the ashram seal was also removed!! To the horror of the public he was later appointed as the successor to the head of Madhurai Adheenam!!! Thankfully it was later called off owing to opposition from all quarters. There are too many videos on net the showing his misdeeds and scandals. In one funny video he’s trying to teach his followers how to fly??? But the funny part is, neither he nor his followers could do that, obviously they couldn’t have πŸ™‚ I was surprised to see the huge number of people foolishly trying to do what he was saying. Where do these people keep their brains when they go to meet these fraud swamis??

The king of all the fraud swamis is Aasaram Bapu. This 71 year old swami is always in the news for his wrong doings.He’s accused of attempt to murder(of his own aide Raju Chandak), who had claimed to have seen him involved in objectionable activities during tantric rituals. Two children died inside his ashram mysteriously and recently a volunteer died of poison in his Jabalpur ashram whose father later told the press that his son had called up to say that he was scared and may not live long and that he wanted to tell him something about bapu. He’s also embroiled in land encroachment case. While every heart in the country was bleeding for Nirbhaya this silly swami made a shameful comment when he said that she could have saved herself if she had addressed her attackers as bhaiyya (brother) and she should have chanted Saraswati Mantra!!. And then he went on to call the media and his critics as dogs. Exasperating, really.

Despite all the illegal, shameful and unpardonable things these ‘self proclaimed Godmen’ have done and are doing, their followers are still very loyal. Their ashrams are running as usual with the crowds as large as it used to be before all this came to light. How and why is something that I fail to understand. Why can’t people see, understand and realize what crooks these swamis are.

Infact one more Baba who’s in great demand is Nirmal Baba and he is supposed to be holding multiple bank accounts with crores of rupees. People stand in queue to ask questions and mind you, one has to pay money to ask a question to which the baba gives some shit of an answer.

Thousands of people were devotees of Satya Sai Baba at Puttaparti in Andhra Pradesh and continued to be so even after so many things were publicized about him and his magic tricks that duped and cheated the devotees. But one admirable thing about him was that he was a good social worker and has done a lot for the poor.

An article in the ‘Outlook’ weekly magazine dated July 23,2012 brought out sex, violence and corruption stories of the Catholic church in Kerala. The stories about the priests doing all kinds of things they are not supposed to, left us speechless. One consolation that this fraudulence is not confined to only Hindu swamis. πŸ™‚

There are too many stories about too many Swamis, Godmen and Priests. But people still continue to waste their time and money on them who make their own lives comfortable by making a fool out of these so called devotees or desciples. As long as people are there to be fooled, fraud Swamis are going to have a gala time. Its sad to see educated people also falling prey to this. Somebody’s stupidity is somebody’s gain, that’s it and it happens only in India. Yes, many things can happen only in India.

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