A few days back there was a piece of news in the ‘Hitavada’ with a cute photograph of an old couple exchanging garlands on the occasion of their 80th wedding anniversary!!!
Even for us Indians who believe immensely in the institution of marriage and in being with each other through all the ups and downs of life, 80 years of married life seems like quite a long time. In most cases even if the marriage is going good, one of the partners may pass away untimely. So just reading about such lucky couples gives a lot of happiness and also, it sets one thinking about this age old institution of marriage. Not that I never thought of it before. I’ve, many times and today once again.
In our country, once you are married you are supposed to stick to it. From time immemorial people have believed in keeping their marriages intact, come what may and divorce never seemed to be a solution for marital problems. It was never ‘love at first sight’ but it was always marriage first and love followed naturally. When husband and wife grow older in each others company they realise that old age love is more matured and mesmerizing. The mere presence of a loving companion 24×7 is reason enough to live and love life. Earlier it was the women who strived hard to make their marriages work as the husbands were always treated as semi gods… ‘Pati Parameshwar’. With time the concepts have changed and the husbands have become broad minded and understood the value of having a wife in their lives.
Every relationship comes with its own dos and dont’s. Likewise there are some basic rules of a good married life too – if you want to be loved, you should be loving too, if you want to be heard learn to listen first, if you want to hear good things, be the first to initiate it etc… A marriage is a beautiful bond between two people and if both of them put in their best to make it work, it is bound to work. Marriage is also a compromise between two people, sometimes the wife has to compromise and sometimes, the husband-as long as it is not affecting the sole entity of one’s existence.
When two different personalities have to share the same house and so many other things and live constantly in each other’s company 24×7, differences are bound to surface. As kids when we lived with our parents and siblings it was not any different. We used to have differences and fights with them also – but we loved these people then and continue to do so, even now. A marriage is the responsibility of both the partners. Both of them have to be equally accountable for all that happens in the family. Blame games don’t help at all. It becomes a headache if one person has to do everything but when there’s another person to share the responsibility and care for you, the scenario changes and what earlier felt like headache turns to pleasure now.
Most of all, if a marriage has to survive I think one must not get into arguments. If either of the partners is angry over something and lost his/her cool, it is in the best interest of the family for the other person to keep his/her cool and not answer back or argue. In most of such situations whatever argument takes place is totally unproductive and can only worsen the situation. So if the other partner displays a bit of maturity and keeps his patience and leaves the angry person alone, in no time the situation improves and he/she might even come to you with a Sorry (in most cases). Show me one family where there are no fights- it’s just how you handle them makes all the difference to your marital life.
I think being a little understanding and thinking from the other person’s perspective makes it easy to handle any situation. And it’s a very small price to pay to enjoy the marital bliss and to continue living with the person you love the most.
mindlymusings 